The emotional impact of having a loved one in harm’s way can’t be underestimated. The spouses, children and parents of soldiers on active duty live with uncertainty 24/7, but at least no one needs to wait weeks for messages to be sent back and forth. Today, a soldier’s day can include a firefight with insurgents and a phone call back home at dinnertime.
Which brings us to a recent post by ArmyMom in WereYouThere’s OurKive:
My son tries to call everyday. Many times when he has called I know his FOB [Forward Operating Base] has been under fire for days. He is stressed and I can hear it. He has lost friends, many friends to IEDs and snipers.. Help me know what to say. I know he wants to talk but he can’t.
I talk about family brothers sisters…is there something I should be saying? I love you is a given…..He is a medic as well so he deals with some really really stressful situations. It is so hard to know what to say.
If you have any suggestions for ArmyMom, log in to WereYouThere and respond to her message.
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Tell him (at the beginning and end of every phone call) that you love him. Then tell him a little about your day. What may seem routine–even boring–to you will reinforce for him his love of you and of our country. While he is currently in the middle of a dangerous, stressful war, he wants to be reminded that his ‘normal’ still exists. In some ways, your calls are his link to sanity. Anything you can say that reminds him of routine, of love, of the US, will ground him. Don’t be afraid to share bad news IF it is bad news you would have shared were he at home. But keep most conversations positive on balance. He needs to be told–and told, and told–that you are proud of him, that you love him, and that you will listen to his words if he ever wants to talk–and that you will accept his silence if he does not.
Good luck, Mom. Your son is lucky to have you there for him.